To Be a Friend to God in the Dark

Hola!
I don't really know if anyone reads my blog but I really enjoy writing so that is why I have one. Life has been pretty busy lately so it has been a while since I've written! If anyone actually does read this, here are a few happenings/thoughts of late….

The words of Elder Maxwell when he said, "Beware not to get caught up in the thick of thin things" are coming to my mind at this moment. I have been so caught up in so many "thin" things lately but they have caused thickness and weight in my life. I am a natural worrier. I worry about worrying. Haha. If that doesn't sound nuts, I don't know what does. Sometimes it seems that the more I try and fight this pattern of my mind, the worse it gets. There are a few things that I've found out lately though. They are called faith, hope and charity. Really, these are all I know how to work with in my life right now. Over the past many years and months, I've had times when I've literally been consumed by worry about one thing or another. I've gotten so sick of worrying that I've asked Heavenly Father on multiple occasions if He could just give me a new personality, a new mental and emotional make-up. Guess what… He hasn't done it yet. :) He keeps telling me "Press forward. Have faith. It won't last forever, even though it feels like it will right now." He shows me examples from my past, from other people's lives and from the lives of his servants and the men and women in the scriptures of how difficult things gave them an opportunity to know Him better and to choose to change and become a better, stronger person in the midst of something that could have seemed too hard to bear. I read this quote today and it made me think of this burden that I have dealt with so often.

'Once when President Brigham Young was asked why we are sometimes left alone and often sad, his response was that man has to learn to “act as an independent being … to see what he will do … and try his independency—to be righteous in the dark.” '

I think Brigham Young also says that we are to learn to be a "friend to God in the dark" in this same quote. I love that. As I've thought about that -about the times that I am seemingly alone and I don't know why or where to go from here, I've come to realize that these truly are the times that what I know is tested. I am tested to see if I will act in the ways that I've studied about and preached about and born testimony of. I know it and can talk about it until I'm blue in the face but when the moment of action comes, can I live it? It is here that I feel faith, hope and charity come in. When I am worried or fearful or can't see my path ahead and the peace or answer or reassurance I seek does not come immediately, what am I left with? What are we to do when we are in this position? My answer of late is that we have faith, hope, and charity. Such moments are when we get to really see if we have these qualities and if we are willing to put acting upon them to the test. I'm grateful for these doctrines. They have helped me through the valleys of life.

May I focus on one in particular: Charity.
"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." -Moroni 7: 45

That is really all I need to say about it. It is eternal. It endures FOREVER. It is the pure love of Christ, and He never gives up on us, He never gets discouraged about our mistakes, He is always hopeful, always seeking to help us, never thinking evil of us, but always there to lift us and help us be better and happier. I love it. I am so grateful for it and for His example.

This is getting long. That's what happens when I don't blog for a long time. For your time's sake, I'll stop here today. But check back soon because I will be writing more. …Maybe about temples, maybe about Apostles, maybe about funny children, maybe about music and if I'm feeling generous, maybe about a really cute boy. Maybe. :) If you so desire, you can cast your votes for what you'd like to hear about in my next post in a comment! haha :) I hope you have a wonderful day!