Today I'm thinking about the sweet joy of family life - especially the joy of children. I tended a niece and nephew of mine yesterday for a few hours and it just made me so so so so so so so so so so so happy. They are such beautiful little souls and I love them so much. I am so excited for the time in my life when I will get to have my own little family and be privileged and blessed to raise my own children in a home centered on the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I love children and look forward so much to the bond that I will have with my own children.
I'm also thinking today about the beautiful joy found in the Gospel of Jesus Christ. Every doctrine of the Gospel is so beautiful and freeing. I have been thinking particularly about the joy for those who at some time for whatever reason have not actively lived the Gospel and the especially sweet joy it holds for them when they come back. Living the Gospel is happiness. My sweet boyfriend has said this in a way that has really touched my heart. He was telling me one day of his concern for some family and friends who do not live the Gospel. He told me how he had tried to be a good influence on them but that they just "want nothing to do with real happiness." That sweet conviction of what the Gospel really is- real happiness- pierces my heart. It is so true. He, like so many others has felt the sweet peace and happiness of living the Gospel and you can see that in the outward countenance of him and every other person who truly lives the Gospel. I feel so grateful and blessed to have the peace and joy of the Gospel of Jesus Christ in my soul. It is the most wonderful thing in the world. It is the safety net in a world of spiritual poisons. It is the only true anchor for us against waves of disbelief, tolerance, and sin in this world. I know that we can pray every day for help in this world. I know the Atonement to be a strengthening power. I know our God to be a God who changes our hearts, who teaches us, who leads us, who will help us each day to be clean and to be true in a world of filth. God is faithful. God is good. He will uphold us as we lean on Him. As we do so, we are sanctified, made clean from the stains of the world and the stains of our sins and we can pass through this world as a light to those who are in dire need of Jesus Christ but do not know that He is the answer to their ills, and ultimately we will return to Him clean and pure, even as He is pure. In the Book of Mormon, it says: "When he shall appear we shall be like him, for we shall see him as he is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as he is pure. Amen." I love that scripture possibly more than any other. To be "purified even as he is pure" is my greatest desire.
I am so grateful for the Gospel of Jesus Christ. I testify that it is true happiness. I know God hears and answers our prayers. He loves us and takes care of us. Always.
Wednesday, June 11, 2014
Monday, April 28, 2014
Cute
A couple posts ago, I said that if you wanted to, you could cast a vote for what I should write about next. I only got one vote (I'm glad no one actually reads this. That makes me feel better about the things I disclose here) and that one vote was for "a really cute boy." It's been a while and I haven't responded to that one vote, so I thought maybe it was about time. I also really don't want to study for finals so I'm writing instead.
Um, well... There is this boy. Well he's a man, really. Like a real man. He changes the oil in his car all by himself and he fixes his car problems all by himself and he even does some occasional plumbing work in the places he lives. He's thrifty and smart and strong. And he's kind. So kind. He's my best friend and what a great best friend to have. He's super forgiving (thank goodness cuz I make a lot of mistakes. Bless his heart).
Did I mention he's super funny too? Well he's funny. He's also quite the tidy person. His living space is pretty much always clean. Mine isn't. You should see my bedroom. On second thought, you'd probably cry if you did. My parents had warned him about how messy my bedroom is. My bedroom is right next to a big family room that we would hang out in sometimes. Whenever we were in that room I always made sure that I double checked my bedroom door so he couldn't see in there and see how messy it was because.. well it's really messy most of the time. Well one night we were watching a movie or something in the family room next to my room. We had both gone downstairs for something and while I was getting a snack, he'd gone back upstairs. When I went back up, he was sitting in a chair looking so nonchalant that I just knew he had peeked into my room while I wasn't there to see how messy it really was! I called him out on it and he just started laughing so hard. I started laughing too. Don't ask me how I knew that he'd looked in there other than that we are tight like that but I just knew without him even looking at me. Haha. It was one of the funniest moments ever. We laughed for a few minutes and then I asked him what he thought about it. His response was awesome: "Well, it really was as bad as everyone said it is. I thought some of them were exaggerating but they really weren't. There was no sugar coating to it." Haha. Ah, such good times with this boy. I mean man because he doesn't like it when I call him a boy.
Oh, he's also way good at ping pong. He beats me playing left-handed all the time and he isn't left- handed.
Now while these qualities are all true about him, I share them somewhat in jest. Though he is fun, funny, handsome, good at ping pong and manly, if I told you about who he really is even more deeply on the inside, you'd want to date him too and then I'd have a problem on my hands so I'll keep it to a minimum because I also don't want to embarrass him. I mentioned he is my best friend. Well he really is. He was before we ever started dating and that was a big deal to me. I am a comparer- I compare myself to other people. I've never once felt the need to do that with him because it's just not who he is. It's not something he does. He doesn't put the vibes out there about how amazing he is so that other people will look to him. It's just not him and I love that about him. He is humble and never showy. He is kind to everyone and so accepting of people. He's taught me a lot about being kind. I also admire his faith. It's straightforward, non-complicated, pure. He knows things will work out how they're supposed to and is helpful in reminding me of that too.
He's also really sweet. One night I was really sick and he brought me popsicles at midnight... after he'd already been asleep. And one time he went outside when it was cold and dark with me and my niece to do sidewalk chalk because she really wanted to do sidewalk chalk. She was wearing shorts for some reason and kneeling on the cement was hurting her knees. So he took off his nice clean coat and let her kneel on it even though that meant he would be cold and his coat would get dirty. I remember knowing in that moment that he was doing that because he cared about me even though sidewalk chalk in the dark and cold was probably not his first choice for an activity at that moment and it warmed my heart. I could go on but like I said, then you'd want to date him too so I should probably stop. But he's awesome. And really cute in so many ways.
Oh, and if it seems like I'm talking in past tense it's because we're living several states apart right now and I miss his guts like craaaaazy. :(
Um, well... There is this boy. Well he's a man, really. Like a real man. He changes the oil in his car all by himself and he fixes his car problems all by himself and he even does some occasional plumbing work in the places he lives. He's thrifty and smart and strong. And he's kind. So kind. He's my best friend and what a great best friend to have. He's super forgiving (thank goodness cuz I make a lot of mistakes. Bless his heart).
Did I mention he's super funny too? Well he's funny. He's also quite the tidy person. His living space is pretty much always clean. Mine isn't. You should see my bedroom. On second thought, you'd probably cry if you did. My parents had warned him about how messy my bedroom is. My bedroom is right next to a big family room that we would hang out in sometimes. Whenever we were in that room I always made sure that I double checked my bedroom door so he couldn't see in there and see how messy it was because.. well it's really messy most of the time. Well one night we were watching a movie or something in the family room next to my room. We had both gone downstairs for something and while I was getting a snack, he'd gone back upstairs. When I went back up, he was sitting in a chair looking so nonchalant that I just knew he had peeked into my room while I wasn't there to see how messy it really was! I called him out on it and he just started laughing so hard. I started laughing too. Don't ask me how I knew that he'd looked in there other than that we are tight like that but I just knew without him even looking at me. Haha. It was one of the funniest moments ever. We laughed for a few minutes and then I asked him what he thought about it. His response was awesome: "Well, it really was as bad as everyone said it is. I thought some of them were exaggerating but they really weren't. There was no sugar coating to it." Haha. Ah, such good times with this boy. I mean man because he doesn't like it when I call him a boy.
Oh, he's also way good at ping pong. He beats me playing left-handed all the time and he isn't left- handed.
Now while these qualities are all true about him, I share them somewhat in jest. Though he is fun, funny, handsome, good at ping pong and manly, if I told you about who he really is even more deeply on the inside, you'd want to date him too and then I'd have a problem on my hands so I'll keep it to a minimum because I also don't want to embarrass him. I mentioned he is my best friend. Well he really is. He was before we ever started dating and that was a big deal to me. I am a comparer- I compare myself to other people. I've never once felt the need to do that with him because it's just not who he is. It's not something he does. He doesn't put the vibes out there about how amazing he is so that other people will look to him. It's just not him and I love that about him. He is humble and never showy. He is kind to everyone and so accepting of people. He's taught me a lot about being kind. I also admire his faith. It's straightforward, non-complicated, pure. He knows things will work out how they're supposed to and is helpful in reminding me of that too.
He's also really sweet. One night I was really sick and he brought me popsicles at midnight... after he'd already been asleep. And one time he went outside when it was cold and dark with me and my niece to do sidewalk chalk because she really wanted to do sidewalk chalk. She was wearing shorts for some reason and kneeling on the cement was hurting her knees. So he took off his nice clean coat and let her kneel on it even though that meant he would be cold and his coat would get dirty. I remember knowing in that moment that he was doing that because he cared about me even though sidewalk chalk in the dark and cold was probably not his first choice for an activity at that moment and it warmed my heart. I could go on but like I said, then you'd want to date him too so I should probably stop. But he's awesome. And really cute in so many ways.
Oh, and if it seems like I'm talking in past tense it's because we're living several states apart right now and I miss his guts like craaaaazy. :(
Sunday, April 20, 2014
On Easter Sunday
I've been wanting to write this post since General Conference and finally have a few minutes that I feel I can justify spending on a blog post. :)
I want to share my witness of Jesus Christ and of the truths of the doctrines solidified by this holy day. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior. I know that He atoned for us. I know He suffered for our sins and for every other kind of suffering we would ever experience. I know He knows every tear we cry and every ache we feel, be it of sin or something else. I know that He laid down his life of his own will only after he had suffered to the utmost. Nothing was left unpaid for, nothing left undone. He himself said "It is finished" and by that he truly mean that the price that had to be paid for each of us to gain salvation had been completely paid. It is so amazing to think of it - to think of what he did and of who he is. I love him so much and owe everything I am and everything I have to Him. I cannot tell you all of the times that He has saved me and delivered me from darkness in my life. His light is so powerful, so pure, so good, that when it enters into me, I feel it burning away irrelevant things. I feel it making me more pure, more good and more holy. Though I am ever weak, I have felt Him make me strong. I have felt His power to change my heart and to make me new and whole.
In the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that took place just a few weekends ago, I felt the witness of the Holy Ghost on two very powerful occasions of the reality of Jesus Christ. I had the blessing of getting to attend the Saturday morning session in the conference center with my cute boyfriend and some of his family. I felt so grateful for the opportunity to be there (and it was def a plus to get to be there with my man ;D). During the first talk or two, the Spirit hit me so hard. I don't remember what was even being spoken about but I remember the feeling that came and it bore a powerful witness to my heart that Jesus Christ is real and that He lives. I knew it. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it in that moment. I knew that Joseph Smith saw Him and God the Father in a sacred grove of trees as a young boy and that they restored The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on the earth today through that young prophet.
The next day, Elder D. Todd Christofferson spoke about Jesus Christ's resurrection. It is a most powerful and hope-filled doctrine that has always resonated deeply within me because of the example and testimony my beautiful mother shared with me when I was a young child. She told me about how our family would be together forever and how my brother who had died as a toddler would live again. She told me of Jesus and she truly celebrated Easter. It was in her heart. She knew it because she had experienced His healing balm to her aching heart. She not only knew it but she lived it and continues to live it. So, with that background, I had dozed off for a moment and woke up to this beautiful talk about Christ's resurrection. This is what I wrote in my journal about it:
"I know Jesus Christ lives. As he spake about Jesus' resurrection, I knew again that Jesus Christ is real. I felt at home, safe, my worries were cleared as what is real and familiar filled my soul. All my troubles seem to be gone as I thought of Him. This talk answered my heaven-inspired question this weekend of "Who is Christ?" More firmly comes to my mind the declaration "I am the Way." I feel that more deeply. He must be made the focus of my life so that I am grounded always. He must be the focus of my home. His Atoning power must be part of my every day life. I may not be able to control other forces around me but I can control my devotion to Christ. This is my one desire. He is my desire. I cannot let things outside of His way into my life, for I want to always be able to be clean before him."
Though I am obviously far from a perfect disciple of Christ, it is true that He is my greatest desire. I love Him and I know that He lives. I have felt Him, His love and the power of the Atonement over and over again in my life. He has cleansed me, healed me, strengthened me, carried me, and stayed by me through all things and I love Him. I know that you too can know of His reality and His love if you so desire. All we have to do is ask and be willing to listen. :)
Much Love.
I want to share my witness of Jesus Christ and of the truths of the doctrines solidified by this holy day. I know that Jesus Christ is our Savior. I know that He atoned for us. I know He suffered for our sins and for every other kind of suffering we would ever experience. I know He knows every tear we cry and every ache we feel, be it of sin or something else. I know that He laid down his life of his own will only after he had suffered to the utmost. Nothing was left unpaid for, nothing left undone. He himself said "It is finished" and by that he truly mean that the price that had to be paid for each of us to gain salvation had been completely paid. It is so amazing to think of it - to think of what he did and of who he is. I love him so much and owe everything I am and everything I have to Him. I cannot tell you all of the times that He has saved me and delivered me from darkness in my life. His light is so powerful, so pure, so good, that when it enters into me, I feel it burning away irrelevant things. I feel it making me more pure, more good and more holy. Though I am ever weak, I have felt Him make me strong. I have felt His power to change my heart and to make me new and whole.
In the General Conference of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints that took place just a few weekends ago, I felt the witness of the Holy Ghost on two very powerful occasions of the reality of Jesus Christ. I had the blessing of getting to attend the Saturday morning session in the conference center with my cute boyfriend and some of his family. I felt so grateful for the opportunity to be there (and it was def a plus to get to be there with my man ;D). During the first talk or two, the Spirit hit me so hard. I don't remember what was even being spoken about but I remember the feeling that came and it bore a powerful witness to my heart that Jesus Christ is real and that He lives. I knew it. I knew it, I knew it, I knew it in that moment. I knew that Joseph Smith saw Him and God the Father in a sacred grove of trees as a young boy and that they restored The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints on the earth today through that young prophet.
The next day, Elder D. Todd Christofferson spoke about Jesus Christ's resurrection. It is a most powerful and hope-filled doctrine that has always resonated deeply within me because of the example and testimony my beautiful mother shared with me when I was a young child. She told me about how our family would be together forever and how my brother who had died as a toddler would live again. She told me of Jesus and she truly celebrated Easter. It was in her heart. She knew it because she had experienced His healing balm to her aching heart. She not only knew it but she lived it and continues to live it. So, with that background, I had dozed off for a moment and woke up to this beautiful talk about Christ's resurrection. This is what I wrote in my journal about it:
"I know Jesus Christ lives. As he spake about Jesus' resurrection, I knew again that Jesus Christ is real. I felt at home, safe, my worries were cleared as what is real and familiar filled my soul. All my troubles seem to be gone as I thought of Him. This talk answered my heaven-inspired question this weekend of "Who is Christ?" More firmly comes to my mind the declaration "I am the Way." I feel that more deeply. He must be made the focus of my life so that I am grounded always. He must be the focus of my home. His Atoning power must be part of my every day life. I may not be able to control other forces around me but I can control my devotion to Christ. This is my one desire. He is my desire. I cannot let things outside of His way into my life, for I want to always be able to be clean before him."
Though I am obviously far from a perfect disciple of Christ, it is true that He is my greatest desire. I love Him and I know that He lives. I have felt Him, His love and the power of the Atonement over and over again in my life. He has cleansed me, healed me, strengthened me, carried me, and stayed by me through all things and I love Him. I know that you too can know of His reality and His love if you so desire. All we have to do is ask and be willing to listen. :)
Much Love.
Saturday, March 22, 2014
To Be a Friend to God in the Dark
Hola!
I don't really know if anyone reads my blog but I really enjoy writing so that is why I have one. Life has been pretty busy lately so it has been a while since I've written! If anyone actually does read this, here are a few happenings/thoughts of late….
The words of Elder Maxwell when he said, "Beware not to get caught up in the thick of thin things" are coming to my mind at this moment. I have been so caught up in so many "thin" things lately but they have caused thickness and weight in my life. I am a natural worrier. I worry about worrying. Haha. If that doesn't sound nuts, I don't know what does. Sometimes it seems that the more I try and fight this pattern of my mind, the worse it gets. There are a few things that I've found out lately though. They are called faith, hope and charity. Really, these are all I know how to work with in my life right now. Over the past many years and months, I've had times when I've literally been consumed by worry about one thing or another. I've gotten so sick of worrying that I've asked Heavenly Father on multiple occasions if He could just give me a new personality, a new mental and emotional make-up. Guess what… He hasn't done it yet. :) He keeps telling me "Press forward. Have faith. It won't last forever, even though it feels like it will right now." He shows me examples from my past, from other people's lives and from the lives of his servants and the men and women in the scriptures of how difficult things gave them an opportunity to know Him better and to choose to change and become a better, stronger person in the midst of something that could have seemed too hard to bear. I read this quote today and it made me think of this burden that I have dealt with so often.
'Once when President Brigham Young was asked why we are sometimes left alone and often sad, his response was that man has to learn to “act as an independent being … to see what he will do … and try his independency—to be righteous in the dark.” '
I think Brigham Young also says that we are to learn to be a "friend to God in the dark" in this same quote. I love that. As I've thought about that -about the times that I am seemingly alone and I don't know why or where to go from here, I've come to realize that these truly are the times that what I know is tested. I am tested to see if I will act in the ways that I've studied about and preached about and born testimony of. I know it and can talk about it until I'm blue in the face but when the moment of action comes, can I live it? It is here that I feel faith, hope and charity come in. When I am worried or fearful or can't see my path ahead and the peace or answer or reassurance I seek does not come immediately, what am I left with? What are we to do when we are in this position? My answer of late is that we have faith, hope, and charity. Such moments are when we get to really see if we have these qualities and if we are willing to put acting upon them to the test. I'm grateful for these doctrines. They have helped me through the valleys of life.
May I focus on one in particular: Charity.
"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." -Moroni 7: 45
That is really all I need to say about it. It is eternal. It endures FOREVER. It is the pure love of Christ, and He never gives up on us, He never gets discouraged about our mistakes, He is always hopeful, always seeking to help us, never thinking evil of us, but always there to lift us and help us be better and happier. I love it. I am so grateful for it and for His example.
This is getting long. That's what happens when I don't blog for a long time. For your time's sake, I'll stop here today. But check back soon because I will be writing more. …Maybe about temples, maybe about Apostles, maybe about funny children, maybe about music and if I'm feeling generous, maybe about a really cute boy. Maybe. :) If you so desire, you can cast your votes for what you'd like to hear about in my next post in a comment! haha :) I hope you have a wonderful day!
I don't really know if anyone reads my blog but I really enjoy writing so that is why I have one. Life has been pretty busy lately so it has been a while since I've written! If anyone actually does read this, here are a few happenings/thoughts of late….
The words of Elder Maxwell when he said, "Beware not to get caught up in the thick of thin things" are coming to my mind at this moment. I have been so caught up in so many "thin" things lately but they have caused thickness and weight in my life. I am a natural worrier. I worry about worrying. Haha. If that doesn't sound nuts, I don't know what does. Sometimes it seems that the more I try and fight this pattern of my mind, the worse it gets. There are a few things that I've found out lately though. They are called faith, hope and charity. Really, these are all I know how to work with in my life right now. Over the past many years and months, I've had times when I've literally been consumed by worry about one thing or another. I've gotten so sick of worrying that I've asked Heavenly Father on multiple occasions if He could just give me a new personality, a new mental and emotional make-up. Guess what… He hasn't done it yet. :) He keeps telling me "Press forward. Have faith. It won't last forever, even though it feels like it will right now." He shows me examples from my past, from other people's lives and from the lives of his servants and the men and women in the scriptures of how difficult things gave them an opportunity to know Him better and to choose to change and become a better, stronger person in the midst of something that could have seemed too hard to bear. I read this quote today and it made me think of this burden that I have dealt with so often.
'Once when President Brigham Young was asked why we are sometimes left alone and often sad, his response was that man has to learn to “act as an independent being … to see what he will do … and try his independency—to be righteous in the dark.” '
I think Brigham Young also says that we are to learn to be a "friend to God in the dark" in this same quote. I love that. As I've thought about that -about the times that I am seemingly alone and I don't know why or where to go from here, I've come to realize that these truly are the times that what I know is tested. I am tested to see if I will act in the ways that I've studied about and preached about and born testimony of. I know it and can talk about it until I'm blue in the face but when the moment of action comes, can I live it? It is here that I feel faith, hope and charity come in. When I am worried or fearful or can't see my path ahead and the peace or answer or reassurance I seek does not come immediately, what am I left with? What are we to do when we are in this position? My answer of late is that we have faith, hope, and charity. Such moments are when we get to really see if we have these qualities and if we are willing to put acting upon them to the test. I'm grateful for these doctrines. They have helped me through the valleys of life.
May I focus on one in particular: Charity.
"And charity suffereth long, and is kind, and envieth not, and is not puffed up, seeketh not her own, is not easily provoked, thinketh no evil, and rejoiceth not in iniquity but rejoiceth in the truth, beareth all things, believeth all things, hopeth all things, endureth all things." -Moroni 7: 45
That is really all I need to say about it. It is eternal. It endures FOREVER. It is the pure love of Christ, and He never gives up on us, He never gets discouraged about our mistakes, He is always hopeful, always seeking to help us, never thinking evil of us, but always there to lift us and help us be better and happier. I love it. I am so grateful for it and for His example.
This is getting long. That's what happens when I don't blog for a long time. For your time's sake, I'll stop here today. But check back soon because I will be writing more. …Maybe about temples, maybe about Apostles, maybe about funny children, maybe about music and if I'm feeling generous, maybe about a really cute boy. Maybe. :) If you so desire, you can cast your votes for what you'd like to hear about in my next post in a comment! haha :) I hope you have a wonderful day!
Wednesday, February 12, 2014
Wednesday and... Love?
So it's Wednesday, which I feel deserves a post. Jk. I just really like writing and I have lots of happy things swirling around in my head.
Family. Family is so good. I know a lot of people have deep struggles within their families and may feel that it is more of a trial than a blessing. Sometimes our trials are our blessings. Most of the time our trials are our blessings. Luke chapter 6 in the KJV of the Bible really helps me know how to love people better, especially those people who sometimes seem hard to love. I love Jesus Christ's example and how He always gives us the higher way to live and to treat people. This is going to look really long, but I want to include the passage just so you can see exactly what I'm talking about. My favorite verse is 38. I was having a hard time once when someone I cared a lot about had acted in a way that had hurt a little bit. The promise the Lord gives is that if you give love, you will receive love. But you won't just receive some love back, you'll receive it back in "good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over." How awesome is that? We might not feel like we get that when we try to share kindness with people who aren't that kind to us, but I believe that this is true. This is what God will give to us if we are kind, if we love, if we will give. I love it. I love it so much.
27 ¶But I say unto you which hear, a Love your enemies, do good to them which hate you,
28 Bless them that curse you, and a pray for them which despitefully use you.
29 a And unto him that b smiteth thee on the one cheek offer also the other; and him that c taketh away thy cloak forbid not to take thy coat also.
30 a Give to every man that b asketh of thee; and of him that taketh away thy goods ask them not again.
32 For if ye love them which love you, what thank have ye? for sinners also love those that love them.
33 And if ye do good to them which do good to you, what thank have ye? for sinners also do even the same.
34 And if ye lend to them of whom ye hope to receive, what thank have ye? for sinners also lend to sinners, to receive as much again.
35 But a love ye your enemies, and do good, and b lend, hoping for nothing again; and your c reward shall be great, and ye shall be thed children of the Highest: for he is kind unto the e unthankful andto the evil.
37 a Judge not, and ye shall not be judged: b condemn not, and ye shall not be condemned: forgive, and ye shall be c forgiven:
38 a Give, and it shall be given unto you; good measure, pressed down, and shaken together, and running over, shall men give into your bosom. For with the same b measure that ye mete withal it shall be measured to you again.
41 And why beholdest thou the a mote that is in thy brother’s eye, but perceivest not the beam that is in thine own eye?
42 Either how canst thou say to thy brother, Brother, let me pull out the mote that is in thine eye, when thou thyself beholdest not the beam that is in thine own eye? Thou hypocrite, cast out first the beam out of thine own eye, and then shalt thou see clearly to pull out the mote that is in thy brother’s eye.
Education. I love school. That may sound like I'm weird, but THIS TALK might help explain why I love my opportunities to get an education. I feel so blessed to live in this country where I am free to pursue my convictions and ambitions in all aspects of life. I want to do so much in my life. I'm grateful for a wonderful university to be able to study at with talented and skilled professors who have taught me so much. I truly feel so blessed. I'm grateful to be studying business and marketing in an area of the world where people have a high value on integrity and family. I have had the opportunity to hear individuals speak who are successful in their careers and yet they are just normal people - they love God and they love their families and they are trying to do good in the world. That is such a rare thing in today's world, especially in business and I feel that I have had a prime opportunity, thanks to my professors, to see living examples of professional success from people who truly have the right priorities. I've been inspired by what these people do with their lives and with their businesses to further good in the world!
Music. I cannot even tell you what playing an instrument has done for me in my life. I don't think there's a greater gift that anyone could have in life than to be able to play a musical instrument (other than the Gospel of course). Stay tuned for a post with some of my favorite music ever in it. :)
What talents and gifts has God given you that you're grateful for? What blessings and enjoyments has He blessed you with that have allowed you to share His love with other people? Everyone has so many gifts. I love getting to see the unique packages of gifts that each person comes with.
Lastly, remember how special you are. Remember how special everyone around you is. Everyone in this world is so incredibly loved and valued. We don't earn our value. We don't earn God's love. It's just there. Our value in God's eyes isn't determined by our choices. It is the challenge of a lifetime to learn to love other people in this same way, but I think doing so is the true essence of the Gospel of Jesus Christ.
As far as romantic love goes, if you are feeling a little down about the upcoming holiday, look outward. And look inward. Look inward at where your true value comes from. Is it from other people? Or is it from God? Does God's love fill you? Is your relationship with Him enough to fill you up, regardless of whether you have someone else? I know that is the kind of relationship we can have with Him. And then if we do have that relationship with Him, we'll have so much more to give to someone else when that time comes. Sometimes, for God to give us a really good package filled with lots of love, we have to let go of something that's holding us back. I decided a couple months ago that I was ready to let go of something that I had really loved. I had held onto it and held onto it and held onto it and it had made me miserable. I finally decided I would trust Heavenly Father and really let it go. I began to see so much love around me and all the goodness that I hadn't been able to see before because I had been so focused on what I didn't have. Things just sort of fell into place after that. I was finally open to receiving whatever good things Heavenly Father wanted to give me and they came. I'm so grateful for the blessing of dating my best friend. he is so great. He told me a couple weeks ago that he doesn't like Valentine's Day. When I asked him why he told me it seems unnecessary to him. I said it is a day to celebrate love. You know what he said? He said, "I don't feel like you should have to have a special day to celebrate it." Amen. You shouldn't. (What a guy, eh? I know, I'm super lucky. ;))
As President Uchtdorf said, "Love should be our walk and our talk."
Wednesday, February 5, 2014
Just Because Life is Good
I'm dating my best friend. Do you know how great that feels? If you don't yet, you will someday. It's the best.
I had a boyfriend the first time we met. Luckily for me, Heavenly Father took care of that for me within a few days and we started becoming friends.
Sometimes you don't figure out what you're supposed to be doing in life until you start going the wrong way. Such was the case with our relationship. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father is merciful and patient and that He led me back to him. I'm also grateful that my boyfriend is a forgiving and kind person. He's pretty amazing. I'm a big fan. He also looks super good when he snowboards. Jk. I actually haven't seen him snowboard but one night before we started dating, we were hanging out and he said he liked snowboarding. I pictured it in my mind and I'm telling ya, it was a good picture. I was tired and for some reason said out loud "I bet you look reeeaally good when you snowboard." I was embarrassed for quite a while about that one. It's now a running joke between us...and everyone else who was there.
I'm grateful for a relationship that makes me feel like I want to do my best and be my best... Not because I have to be good enough for him but just because it's the right thing to do. I'm grateful for a relationship that makes me feel like I want to be closer to my Heavenly Father. I'm grateful for a relationship that feels clean and pure. I'm grateful for someone who loves the Gospel and who is a happy and calm person. I love that he can tell me directly but extremely calmly when something is wrong and I don't feel like he's mad at me. We talk about it and then it's over. I love that. He's humble but confident and kind and welcoming to everyone.
I mostly love that he is my best friend. There were a couple rough weeks when we weren't speaking much or really seeing each other and I remember feeling every day like there was no point in a social life if I couldn't spend time with him. Everyone else seemed irrelevant. So I'm feeling pretty great about the fact that I get to spend as much time with him as I want now. :)
Feeling lucky and oh so blessed. :)
I had a boyfriend the first time we met. Luckily for me, Heavenly Father took care of that for me within a few days and we started becoming friends.
Sometimes you don't figure out what you're supposed to be doing in life until you start going the wrong way. Such was the case with our relationship. I'm grateful that Heavenly Father is merciful and patient and that He led me back to him. I'm also grateful that my boyfriend is a forgiving and kind person. He's pretty amazing. I'm a big fan. He also looks super good when he snowboards. Jk. I actually haven't seen him snowboard but one night before we started dating, we were hanging out and he said he liked snowboarding. I pictured it in my mind and I'm telling ya, it was a good picture. I was tired and for some reason said out loud "I bet you look reeeaally good when you snowboard." I was embarrassed for quite a while about that one. It's now a running joke between us...and everyone else who was there.
I'm grateful for a relationship that makes me feel like I want to do my best and be my best... Not because I have to be good enough for him but just because it's the right thing to do. I'm grateful for a relationship that makes me feel like I want to be closer to my Heavenly Father. I'm grateful for a relationship that feels clean and pure. I'm grateful for someone who loves the Gospel and who is a happy and calm person. I love that he can tell me directly but extremely calmly when something is wrong and I don't feel like he's mad at me. We talk about it and then it's over. I love that. He's humble but confident and kind and welcoming to everyone.
I mostly love that he is my best friend. There were a couple rough weeks when we weren't speaking much or really seeing each other and I remember feeling every day like there was no point in a social life if I couldn't spend time with him. Everyone else seemed irrelevant. So I'm feeling pretty great about the fact that I get to spend as much time with him as I want now. :)
Feeling lucky and oh so blessed. :)
Tuesday, January 14, 2014
I've Learned Some Stuff...
Guys. I learned something this week about dating. I learned that dating is not all about dating. I probably should have learned that before, but I really really really learned it this week.
I learned that I want to be the kind of spouse or girlfriend who lets their significant other participate in the things they really enjoy in life and who supports them in it, even if I don't love the same things as much. This feeling came when I'd broken up with someone who had expressed strongly that he disliked a genre of music that is one of my favorite things in all of life. I hadn't realized while we were dating that his saying that had an effect on me, but I remember after we broke up, getting into my car alone one night, and my radio was turned to a classical station. I remember feeling like "ah, I can enjoy classical music again!" I had no idea that I had felt like I couldn't enjoy it while I was dating him, but apparently I had registered some judgment that I loved it and felt like I couldn't enjoy it to the same degree if he hated it and didn't support me in that enjoyment. It was a simple thing, but it taught me a good lesson. I want to be the kind of wife who does those little things to help my husband have joy in the simple things he loves in life. If he likes sports, I want to go to sporting events with him, even though sports aren't my favorite thing in life. I want to do that with him because I love him and because life isn't all about me. If he loves skiing or snowmobiling or boating, I'll try and go with him even though those things make me kind of nauseous. If he likes camping, I'll try and go with him even though I hate the dirt involved with camping. I can already feel that life will be happier if this is my focus. The more you give, the more you have in relationships. It's pretty amazing how that works.
I've learned that dating is so much about trust. You have to trust that God has a plan for you. You have to believe that even though sometimes you feel broken and lonely and you might be the cause of others broken-ness and loneliness, that God knows how to give sufficient comfort and healing. I've been on both ends. I've done the breaking up and I've been broken up with. Both hurt. Each brings different feelings of struggle and brokenness. But I've learned that we don't have to do it alone. I was in the new phases of a relationship with an adorable human a while back and we were trying to decide if it was the right thing to keep going... "What if we break up? What if I hurt you? What if it doesn't work out? I don't want to hurt you" were thoughts we talked through for weeks. One night, after one of these talks where he expressed this fear that he would break my heart, I had to seriously think about the possibility. At that point, I doubted that would happen - he was everything I'd ever wanted and I felt that our relationship held so much potential. As I thought that night "What if it doesn't work out? What if his fears come true?" Immediately, the Spirit taught me that I would be ok because the first relationship in my life is and always should be with my Savior and that if He is my anchor that I'll be ok no matter what happens. A few months later, that relationship ended, catching me by surprise. As I walked into my bedroom the night we broke up with tear-streaked cheeks and a feeling of grief and shock in my heart, the Spirit whispered to me so clearly, "Your future is bright!!" I thought of that as I recently had to tell another adorable human that I couldn't have the relationship with him that he wanted. I was comforted in having to be the bearer of that news to him to know that Heavenly Father is so mindful of him too and that his future is so bright too.
Lately I've come more fully to the understanding that Heavenly Father wants to give us the best things He possibly can. Sometimes a door has to close so that He can do that for us but He is always there to lead us upward and forward. He's always there to show us the way to the next open window, which holds something even better for us than the last thing. He is leading us on an eternal path of progression and growth. It is an upward climb of goodness. Keep going. Those are the words I feel every time I get frustrated with dating: "Just keep going."
On a little lighter note, can I just share a few nuggets of my life with you?
-Today I got to see cute people. Like they are 2 and 4 years old and we call them niece and nephew and they are the cutest. And 2 year old little boy ate cake and ice cream on my lap and we laughed and laughed about how funny it is to try and take huge bites of ice cream and then laughed even more when the huge bite of ice cream fell off his fork and then it only took me 3 minutes of him asking for more ice cream to figure out what he was saying...He wanted more so that he could do it again and so we could laugh again. Laugh we did, and I kissed his little cheeks a lot a lot a lot. That is happiness right there.
-Have you ever had a massage? If you haven't, please treat yourself to one. You will never view life the same. Oh, and if you haven't had it done before, ask the massage therapist to work your psoas muscle. Wowee... a little painful and slightly invasive to have someone dig into your gut, but really.... I wish I could have someone work that thing out for me every day. Is that tmi? It might be...ok, sorry, moving on.
-Institute is the best. I get to teach institute right now in my young single adult stake and I am so lucky. My co-teacher and I are teaching the life of Jesus Christ from the 4 Gospels in the New Testament and I have been so weepy and my heart so tender these last many days as I've been studying the life of my Savior. I'm so touched by everything He did on this earth and by the infiniteness of His Atonement and the experiences of all of the people involved in His coming to earth. Joseph, Mary, Zacharias, Elizabeth, John, the Wisemen and Shepherds.
-Sometimes you get these little packets of mercy in a day to direct you in the path that you should go. Like you see a friend who tells you about a class that interests you as far as a career path. Or you talk to someone who tells you it's ok to just be you. Did you know that? You're pretty awesome. It's ok to be you...weaknesses and all. I forget that sometimes. But if we're talking about weaknesses, let me share a few because I try to hide them a lot.... I'm really bad at keeping my room clean. Don't know what that's about. I also really like sleeping in. But I'm trying to conquer that one because I also really love mornings and am a much more focused person in the morning than any other time of the day. I am late a lot. Most people know this. It's bad. I'm working on that one too. Sometimes I avoid uncomfortable situations when I should just deal with them head-on. I'm also suuuuuper selfish. Holy cow. Like really. I am soooo selfish. It's really been bugging me lately because I am pretty sure I only think of myself in life and that is just lame. Also, sometimes I have a really hard time to just 'let go.' This is problematic sometimes. I'm sorry if you've ever been the victim of this weakness of mine.
-I believe in love. I told my mom the other day that I didn't believe in "the one" anymore. She laughed and said "Well, I can see why you might say that, but obviously you DO believe in finding one person or you'd be dating so and so..." That's true, mom. If I wasn't worried about finding the right person, I'd probably be dating someone who wasn't the right person. So I'm grateful for the discerning power God gives as we date. I believe in forgiveness in love. Sometimes we're dumb. Sometimes we say unkind things or are thoughtless. I believe in keeping life simple (yes, I know I just admitted that I've yet to master letting go) and in trying to keep relationships and emotions simple. This is hard for me cuz I'm super sensitive, but I'm trying. I really want to be a more peaceful, calm person. I hope to find someone who has that kind of temperament...even, calm, solid. Mm. Love him just thinkin' about it. haha. If he's not like that, well I'm sure he'll still be great, but I'm praying for a really calm one because I just need someone to balance me out and help me stay calm. :)
Ok, I think that's enough of a ramble now. Sorry about that. If you made it to here, here is a message of goodness
I started thinking about that and what that means. I could give a list of examples... I feel like perhaps of all things, dating has given me the opportunity to really learn to listen to my Heavenly Father's voice. Though I don't always understand what I think I hear and feel from Him in regards to dating, I know that He speaks to us and that He wants to direct us and help us. I've also learned to pay attention to my feelings more. I've also learned that you have to be humble enough to listen to your feelings and the feelings Heavenly Father gives you in regards to each situation. You have to love God enough to take His counsel, to let go when He says it's time to let go and to have the faith to go forward when He says you should go forward.
I've learned that everybody is special and amazing. I used to make judgments very quickly about people I went on dates with or just people that I met and was friends with. I looked for all the reasons I couldn't date them or like them or marry them, etc. But even though I'm obviously only going to marry one person, I've come to value people in a different way by trying to legitimately give them a chance and try to get to know them. I've been invited into the homes of some pretty great families in this process and have met some pretty darn incredible young men. Their future wives and families are going to be so lucky to have their wonderful examples of priesthood service and righteous manhood. I've come to respect these young men so much. I feel so blessed to have had the opportunity to associate with so many of them who are so wonderful.
I learned that I want to be the kind of spouse or girlfriend who lets their significant other participate in the things they really enjoy in life and who supports them in it, even if I don't love the same things as much. This feeling came when I'd broken up with someone who had expressed strongly that he disliked a genre of music that is one of my favorite things in all of life. I hadn't realized while we were dating that his saying that had an effect on me, but I remember after we broke up, getting into my car alone one night, and my radio was turned to a classical station. I remember feeling like "ah, I can enjoy classical music again!" I had no idea that I had felt like I couldn't enjoy it while I was dating him, but apparently I had registered some judgment that I loved it and felt like I couldn't enjoy it to the same degree if he hated it and didn't support me in that enjoyment. It was a simple thing, but it taught me a good lesson. I want to be the kind of wife who does those little things to help my husband have joy in the simple things he loves in life. If he likes sports, I want to go to sporting events with him, even though sports aren't my favorite thing in life. I want to do that with him because I love him and because life isn't all about me. If he loves skiing or snowmobiling or boating, I'll try and go with him even though those things make me kind of nauseous. If he likes camping, I'll try and go with him even though I hate the dirt involved with camping. I can already feel that life will be happier if this is my focus. The more you give, the more you have in relationships. It's pretty amazing how that works.
I've learned that dating is so much about trust. You have to trust that God has a plan for you. You have to believe that even though sometimes you feel broken and lonely and you might be the cause of others broken-ness and loneliness, that God knows how to give sufficient comfort and healing. I've been on both ends. I've done the breaking up and I've been broken up with. Both hurt. Each brings different feelings of struggle and brokenness. But I've learned that we don't have to do it alone. I was in the new phases of a relationship with an adorable human a while back and we were trying to decide if it was the right thing to keep going... "What if we break up? What if I hurt you? What if it doesn't work out? I don't want to hurt you" were thoughts we talked through for weeks. One night, after one of these talks where he expressed this fear that he would break my heart, I had to seriously think about the possibility. At that point, I doubted that would happen - he was everything I'd ever wanted and I felt that our relationship held so much potential. As I thought that night "What if it doesn't work out? What if his fears come true?" Immediately, the Spirit taught me that I would be ok because the first relationship in my life is and always should be with my Savior and that if He is my anchor that I'll be ok no matter what happens. A few months later, that relationship ended, catching me by surprise. As I walked into my bedroom the night we broke up with tear-streaked cheeks and a feeling of grief and shock in my heart, the Spirit whispered to me so clearly, "Your future is bright!!" I thought of that as I recently had to tell another adorable human that I couldn't have the relationship with him that he wanted. I was comforted in having to be the bearer of that news to him to know that Heavenly Father is so mindful of him too and that his future is so bright too.
Lately I've come more fully to the understanding that Heavenly Father wants to give us the best things He possibly can. Sometimes a door has to close so that He can do that for us but He is always there to lead us upward and forward. He's always there to show us the way to the next open window, which holds something even better for us than the last thing. He is leading us on an eternal path of progression and growth. It is an upward climb of goodness. Keep going. Those are the words I feel every time I get frustrated with dating: "Just keep going."
On a little lighter note, can I just share a few nuggets of my life with you?
-Today I got to see cute people. Like they are 2 and 4 years old and we call them niece and nephew and they are the cutest. And 2 year old little boy ate cake and ice cream on my lap and we laughed and laughed about how funny it is to try and take huge bites of ice cream and then laughed even more when the huge bite of ice cream fell off his fork and then it only took me 3 minutes of him asking for more ice cream to figure out what he was saying...He wanted more so that he could do it again and so we could laugh again. Laugh we did, and I kissed his little cheeks a lot a lot a lot. That is happiness right there.
-Have you ever had a massage? If you haven't, please treat yourself to one. You will never view life the same. Oh, and if you haven't had it done before, ask the massage therapist to work your psoas muscle. Wowee... a little painful and slightly invasive to have someone dig into your gut, but really.... I wish I could have someone work that thing out for me every day. Is that tmi? It might be...ok, sorry, moving on.
-Institute is the best. I get to teach institute right now in my young single adult stake and I am so lucky. My co-teacher and I are teaching the life of Jesus Christ from the 4 Gospels in the New Testament and I have been so weepy and my heart so tender these last many days as I've been studying the life of my Savior. I'm so touched by everything He did on this earth and by the infiniteness of His Atonement and the experiences of all of the people involved in His coming to earth. Joseph, Mary, Zacharias, Elizabeth, John, the Wisemen and Shepherds.
-Sometimes you get these little packets of mercy in a day to direct you in the path that you should go. Like you see a friend who tells you about a class that interests you as far as a career path. Or you talk to someone who tells you it's ok to just be you. Did you know that? You're pretty awesome. It's ok to be you...weaknesses and all. I forget that sometimes. But if we're talking about weaknesses, let me share a few because I try to hide them a lot.... I'm really bad at keeping my room clean. Don't know what that's about. I also really like sleeping in. But I'm trying to conquer that one because I also really love mornings and am a much more focused person in the morning than any other time of the day. I am late a lot. Most people know this. It's bad. I'm working on that one too. Sometimes I avoid uncomfortable situations when I should just deal with them head-on. I'm also suuuuuper selfish. Holy cow. Like really. I am soooo selfish. It's really been bugging me lately because I am pretty sure I only think of myself in life and that is just lame. Also, sometimes I have a really hard time to just 'let go.' This is problematic sometimes. I'm sorry if you've ever been the victim of this weakness of mine.
-I believe in love. I told my mom the other day that I didn't believe in "the one" anymore. She laughed and said "Well, I can see why you might say that, but obviously you DO believe in finding one person or you'd be dating so and so..." That's true, mom. If I wasn't worried about finding the right person, I'd probably be dating someone who wasn't the right person. So I'm grateful for the discerning power God gives as we date. I believe in forgiveness in love. Sometimes we're dumb. Sometimes we say unkind things or are thoughtless. I believe in keeping life simple (yes, I know I just admitted that I've yet to master letting go) and in trying to keep relationships and emotions simple. This is hard for me cuz I'm super sensitive, but I'm trying. I really want to be a more peaceful, calm person. I hope to find someone who has that kind of temperament...even, calm, solid. Mm. Love him just thinkin' about it. haha. If he's not like that, well I'm sure he'll still be great, but I'm praying for a really calm one because I just need someone to balance me out and help me stay calm. :)
Ok, I think that's enough of a ramble now. Sorry about that. If you made it to here, here is a message of goodness
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=snAjZ8mfoYw&list=PLB0FB73F2FE29CF15
Thursday, December 19, 2013
Christ was born FOR YOU
Hello! I wanted to share a few Christmas thoughts now that I am done with finals and have a moment to breathe again.
There is a song that has been playing over and over and over in my mind since November 20th. I have heard it many times in my life but had never really listened. You know how we do, we hear something but we don't really hear. Well such was me with this song until I was at an orchestra rehearsal late one night in November and the choir had to repeat the last line of the song a few times.... "Christ the babe is born for you." My ears perked up. I had never known that the song "Infant Holy, Infant Lowly" had those words in it. Immediately I wanted to listen to it over and over .... And I did. I have listened to it over and over again in the car and at home. I love it. The second verse is my favorite: "Flocks were sleeping, shepherds keeping vigil til the morning new. Saw the glory, heard the story, tidings of our gospel true. Thus rejoicing, free from sorrow, praises voicing greet the morrow, 'Christ the babe is born for you!'
The line "free from sorrow" in this verse was the high point for me of the concert I got to play in a few weeks ago. As the choir sang that line, I felt the power of those words. Jesus Christ gives us freedom from sorrow. He gives us freedom from sorrow and from all other chains and burdens.
So, at this Christmas time, I want to share with you my testimony that Jesus Christ lives and that "Christ the babe was born for you." He was born for YOU and for your individual sins, pains, struggles, sorrows, burdens...You name it and He felt it for you. He felt YOUR sin. YOUR pain. YOUR sorrow. And He atoned for it. "At-oned"...meaning He made it all right. He set it all equal again. He set you at one with Him again. As far as He descended, He can raise you up. I love Him and I praise Him. I invite you to come closer to Him at this beautiful time of year. He loves you so much.
Merry Christmas to you!!
There is a song that has been playing over and over and over in my mind since November 20th. I have heard it many times in my life but had never really listened. You know how we do, we hear something but we don't really hear. Well such was me with this song until I was at an orchestra rehearsal late one night in November and the choir had to repeat the last line of the song a few times.... "Christ the babe is born for you." My ears perked up. I had never known that the song "Infant Holy, Infant Lowly" had those words in it. Immediately I wanted to listen to it over and over .... And I did. I have listened to it over and over again in the car and at home. I love it. The second verse is my favorite: "Flocks were sleeping, shepherds keeping vigil til the morning new. Saw the glory, heard the story, tidings of our gospel true. Thus rejoicing, free from sorrow, praises voicing greet the morrow, 'Christ the babe is born for you!'
The line "free from sorrow" in this verse was the high point for me of the concert I got to play in a few weeks ago. As the choir sang that line, I felt the power of those words. Jesus Christ gives us freedom from sorrow. He gives us freedom from sorrow and from all other chains and burdens.
So, at this Christmas time, I want to share with you my testimony that Jesus Christ lives and that "Christ the babe was born for you." He was born for YOU and for your individual sins, pains, struggles, sorrows, burdens...You name it and He felt it for you. He felt YOUR sin. YOUR pain. YOUR sorrow. And He atoned for it. "At-oned"...meaning He made it all right. He set it all equal again. He set you at one with Him again. As far as He descended, He can raise you up. I love Him and I praise Him. I invite you to come closer to Him at this beautiful time of year. He loves you so much.
Merry Christmas to you!!
Monday, December 16, 2013
Loved
Every now and then, you have those days when your mind and your body and just about every other faculty you can imagine tells you that you're not doing that great with life right now. So you get up and start your day, thinking "Man, I hope I can make it through this day…and man, I hope these feelings pass reeeeaaalll fast."
But as the feelings continue and you get to your morning scripture study and the first verse you read is Isaiah 14:3 - "The Lord shall give thee rest from thy sorrow, and from thy fear," you know that He knows exactly what you're going through and that He wants peace and happiness for you. He lets you know that you won't feel this way forever. This is a hard day for some reason, but He will help you through this day just as He has helped you through every other hard day of your life. He lets you know there is a place and time when you will be free of those sad and fearful feelings that creep up every now and then and that He'll help you get there. And He does that just because He loves you. Because He loves you so much that He wants you to know that you're not alone and that He gets it…He gets how you're feeling. He knows and He wanted to let you know that He knows.
You go through the day and try to do good things but you just can't get out of the slump. And then you go to your cousin's house for family night and see him and his wife and their two little boys. Their little boys crawl all over you and talk to you and want to be by you the whole night and you're reminded what it is that you're trying to get to…what you really want in life. It's this. It's this sweet little family life. Husband. Wife. Father. Mother. Children. For a few minutes you feel whole inside. You know what is real and what is not. You get to see that this little life makes you feel better and not more stressed, which is an answer to prayers, as you have been worried that it will make this problem of feeling this way worse. You see that this is where you feel most comfortable, most happy, most whole, most at home, most YOU: Giving love to and laughing with children, all in a little home that is just trying to teach little people what is true and trying to love each other and be the best people you can be. Yes, God gives you this gift of showing you that you're a mother at heart to help you know that all is well and that you will be ok. Because He loves you. He loves you so much He just wants to let you know that He gets you. He gets that you get scared sometimes and that it's hard sometimes and that you hurt sometimes…. but He also gets that there is a future of things even better than you can comprehend and He's preparing them for you.
At the end of the day, you just know that He loves you so much. Even though it's so hard sometimes, you're grateful for the dark which helps the light be more visible because He loves you. He loves you, He loves you, He loves you!!!
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
Choices
I watched this video this morning and I love it. I love this story and have had the opportunity to previously hear it and read it several times. As I heard it again today while watching this video, I thought about the relief and peace that comes into our lives when we make the right decisions - in short, the peace we have when we are clean. It is such a blessed thing to be clean before the Lord. I hope that you will feel the same as you watch this. If you feel any feelings of discomfort, that is the spirit telling you that you can be better. Perhaps there is something in your life that ought not to be. There is repentance. There is always a way to be clean again. Jesus Christ is the way.
Saturday, November 23, 2013
Happy
I am happy. /grateful. But mostly happy.
I am happy to be alive.
I am happy to have amazing friend and family support all around me. I love every person who is part of my life so much and I am so grateful for all of their amazing examples and their love.
I am happy that one of my best friends got married to her sweetheart today and that I got to see them together. We've had long talks about life and decisions and dating and marriage over the past couple years and I'm so grateful to have been able to see her path unfold up to this point. She's been such a great friend to me and it was truly a joy to see her with her new husband today. I am also happy that one of my other best friends got engaged to his sweetheart this weekend. Man, I'm just happy for everybody who is finding true love! What a blessing and a joy. I am grateful for the way God leads all of our paths to help us be with the right person. :)
I am happy that I get to play the cello EVERY DAY. I love playing the cello.
I am happy that I'm not an accounting major. Yup. I would die.
I am happy that one of my family members who has health challenges is doing a little better lately. I sure love that guy.
I am happy that I live so close to a temple. I don't know what I would do without that place.
I am happy that Zupas exists. I am also happy that there was this one boy who would go to Zupas with me every week on our date night even though he didn't love it. That was nice of him. He will long be remembered for his chivalry in that matter...especially because he thought it was a "girly" restaurant. What a gent. What. a. gent.
I am happy that we have memories so that when life feels a little gloomy we can remember that one time when we got to play the cello for 5 hours with the most amazing choir and conductors ever or that one time when my niece told me that "everyone is getting married...except for you," or the video that my sister-in-law sent me of my nephew playing in the toilet last week or one of the hundreds of millions of times that one of my prayers was answered. And I'm grateful for flowers. I love those things.
I am happy that my body is healthy and whole and that most of the time it can run and jump and move and play.
I am happy that children exist. I am happy that they are so innocent and pure and loving.
I am happy that my face knows how to smile and that my soul knows how to laugh.
I am happy that the song "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" exists. I looove that song.
I am happy that tomorrow is Sunday. I need one of those days.
I am happy that opportunities to do good and to be kind are endless.
I am happy that sometimes I love people so much that it hurts a lot when they aren't in my life. I'd rather love them and hurt than not ever love enough to hurt. I'm also happy that giving love is something that can always make us better and happier and more whole. Turning outward is so good.
I am happy that God gives us people to help us grow and learn. I love people.
I am happy about life, with all its mountains to climb and its beautiful views, all its roses and all its thorns.
I am happy to be alive.
I am happy to be alive.
I am happy to have amazing friend and family support all around me. I love every person who is part of my life so much and I am so grateful for all of their amazing examples and their love.
I am happy that one of my best friends got married to her sweetheart today and that I got to see them together. We've had long talks about life and decisions and dating and marriage over the past couple years and I'm so grateful to have been able to see her path unfold up to this point. She's been such a great friend to me and it was truly a joy to see her with her new husband today. I am also happy that one of my other best friends got engaged to his sweetheart this weekend. Man, I'm just happy for everybody who is finding true love! What a blessing and a joy. I am grateful for the way God leads all of our paths to help us be with the right person. :)
I am happy that I get to play the cello EVERY DAY. I love playing the cello.
I am happy that I'm not an accounting major. Yup. I would die.
I am happy that one of my family members who has health challenges is doing a little better lately. I sure love that guy.
I am happy that I live so close to a temple. I don't know what I would do without that place.
I am happy that Zupas exists. I am also happy that there was this one boy who would go to Zupas with me every week on our date night even though he didn't love it. That was nice of him. He will long be remembered for his chivalry in that matter...especially because he thought it was a "girly" restaurant. What a gent. What. a. gent.
I am happy that we have memories so that when life feels a little gloomy we can remember that one time when we got to play the cello for 5 hours with the most amazing choir and conductors ever or that one time when my niece told me that "everyone is getting married...except for you," or the video that my sister-in-law sent me of my nephew playing in the toilet last week or one of the hundreds of millions of times that one of my prayers was answered. And I'm grateful for flowers. I love those things.
I am happy that my body is healthy and whole and that most of the time it can run and jump and move and play.
I am happy that children exist. I am happy that they are so innocent and pure and loving.
I am happy that my face knows how to smile and that my soul knows how to laugh.
I am happy that the song "I Heard the Bells on Christmas Day" exists. I looove that song.
I am happy that tomorrow is Sunday. I need one of those days.
I am happy that opportunities to do good and to be kind are endless.
I am happy that sometimes I love people so much that it hurts a lot when they aren't in my life. I'd rather love them and hurt than not ever love enough to hurt. I'm also happy that giving love is something that can always make us better and happier and more whole. Turning outward is so good.
I am happy that God gives us people to help us grow and learn. I love people.
I am happy about life, with all its mountains to climb and its beautiful views, all its roses and all its thorns.
I am happy to be alive.
Friday, November 22, 2013
Grateful
On Wednesday night of this week, I got in my car at 11 pm after a 5 hour orchestra rehearsal for the concert I mentioned in my last post. I was so tired from that wonderfully intense rehearsal that I had to pray I wouldn't fall asleep on the fifteen minute drive home. ....And I tell you what, my eyes didn't even droop, because they were wet with tears of gratitude the entire time. Tears may have squeaked out a few times during our rehearsal too because of how beautiful it was and how grateful I felt to be part of what these amazing conductors are doing. My heart was so full by the end of the night. I cried and prayed in gratitude on my way home, asking Heavenly Father why He is so so so so so so good to me. I think He just knew I needed this in my life right now. It has been a healing balm to my soul the past month and a half. It has lifted and filled and inspired me. It has awakened a spot in my heart that has not been open for a while because I wasn't playing with an orchestra. Light and goodness and euphoria flow through you when you're part of something that good. I feel like Heavenly Father knew that this would be a season of my life when things would be tough and stretching and that some days I would feel like giving up on school, or dating, or...well, on me. So, He gave me this opportunity to make music again.
Also, can I just tell you about the people in this organization? On the night of my audition, I walked into the audition room almost in tears because I had somehow misunderstood the audition requirements. I felt so embarrassed and self-conscious and unconfident. I told those who heard my audition what had happened as I fought back the tears. I expected this to be a negative experience because of that. However, as soon as I looked into the faces of those hearing me, my fears melted away. I felt love. I felt the Spirit. There was so much light in them. They were so kind and so encouraging. They told me not to worry and that they were so excited to hear me play. I went out of there wanting to be a better person just because of the light and love emanating from those three individuals. I felt that even if I didn't get into the orchestra, the audition was worth the experience because of what I felt from those individuals. It was an amazing experience.
I did get in. They invited me to the first rehearsal and to have a second audition afterwards. They were so so so so so kind. I just feel so grateful. Music has brought me wonderful associations with beautiful people and I feel that this is just the beginning of another of those experiences. I have appreciated what I've learned from all the conductors of this group, but I've been especially impacted by one conductor who has been the main conductor of our chapter. He has inspired me with his goodness, light, love, encouragement, and expectations. I heard someone say once that a choir or an orchestra reflects the way their conductor deals with them. I tell you what, I hope we do! When playing music, if your conductor loves you, you feel it and you want to play better because of it. Every time I sit down under the direction of his baton, I feel the Spirit. And you know what, it's not just because of the music we're playing. It's because of his vision. It's because of the vision of the whole organization. Especially with our concert being a celebration of Christmas, I feel the Spirit so much. We get to be the bearers for 2 hours or so of the glad tidings of Jesus Christ through music. I am so grateful to Him for all the blessings He gives me. He is full of grace and mercy.
Also, can I just tell you about the people in this organization? On the night of my audition, I walked into the audition room almost in tears because I had somehow misunderstood the audition requirements. I felt so embarrassed and self-conscious and unconfident. I told those who heard my audition what had happened as I fought back the tears. I expected this to be a negative experience because of that. However, as soon as I looked into the faces of those hearing me, my fears melted away. I felt love. I felt the Spirit. There was so much light in them. They were so kind and so encouraging. They told me not to worry and that they were so excited to hear me play. I went out of there wanting to be a better person just because of the light and love emanating from those three individuals. I felt that even if I didn't get into the orchestra, the audition was worth the experience because of what I felt from those individuals. It was an amazing experience.
I did get in. They invited me to the first rehearsal and to have a second audition afterwards. They were so so so so so kind. I just feel so grateful. Music has brought me wonderful associations with beautiful people and I feel that this is just the beginning of another of those experiences. I have appreciated what I've learned from all the conductors of this group, but I've been especially impacted by one conductor who has been the main conductor of our chapter. He has inspired me with his goodness, light, love, encouragement, and expectations. I heard someone say once that a choir or an orchestra reflects the way their conductor deals with them. I tell you what, I hope we do! When playing music, if your conductor loves you, you feel it and you want to play better because of it. Every time I sit down under the direction of his baton, I feel the Spirit. And you know what, it's not just because of the music we're playing. It's because of his vision. It's because of the vision of the whole organization. Especially with our concert being a celebration of Christmas, I feel the Spirit so much. We get to be the bearers for 2 hours or so of the glad tidings of Jesus Christ through music. I am so grateful to Him for all the blessings He gives me. He is full of grace and mercy.
Monday, November 18, 2013
Monday, November 11, 2013
Christmas-y and Love
It is official- my Christmas music craze has begun! I tell you what, I've held off for a long time this year. It usually starts on Halloween. Actually, I usually have a small phase somewhere around July. It doesn't last long. Then at Halloween, it comes full-fledged. Tonight is the first time I've put my spotify station to Christmas and I'm lovin' it! I should probably admit that I started playing Christmas music on the cello around the 10th of October because I am playing in this suuuuper cool orchestra and we are performing an amazing Christmas concert in ..... dun dun dun... Abravanel Hall! I'm so excited! It's been years since I've had the privilege to play there and I just remember how much better everything sounded in that hall. I couldn't believe that what came out of my little youth orchestra could actually sound like that! We always played in such dead spaces that it was just so amazing to hear everything flow together and actually be able to hear everything that was going on in the rest of the orchestra. I'm so excited and grateful to get to play there again. More importantly than the beautiful concert hall, I am grateful for an opportunity to celebrate the joy of Christmas and the birth and life of my Savior through music. Music is such an incredible gift and brings such a special spirit and healing power into my life. We are playing some beautiful religious pieces.... O Holy Night and some movements from Handel's Messiah being my favorites. Don't judge me, but I think my favorite piece we're playing is "Polar Express Suite"...yes, from the movie the Polar Express. It's crazy hard, but I love it. I've been listening to it over and over again the past couple weeks and just so you can get a little taste for why I love it so much, you should check it out here. I love it. I love it. I love it!!!! I just feel like it is so magical, especially the beautiful middle part. Ah, I am just so in love with music!!! Go listen to some good music. Your soul will love you for it!
For a little inspiration for your day, I remembered these two quotes today that I absolutely love:
"Real love is never wasted. Its value does not lie in reciprocity."
How beautiful and how true. ...And...Thank goodness! I love knowing that I don't have to be embarrassed to give my love if the other person doesn't respond with love in return. Isn't that wonderful?! :) I love it.
"Calmness preserves both energy and relationships."
Amen. That's about all I can say.
Both of these quotes are from our good brother, Elder Neal A. Maxwell. I love his bits of wisdom. What a great man. His influence and ministry as an Apostle of Jesus Christ continues to bless my life.
Well, folks, Merry Christmas and to all a good night! :)
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Growing
Tonight I pulled out of a drawer a picture of me that was taken a few months ago. I love it. I love it so much. There's a cute man by my side and two months ago I thought I looked the happiest in that picture that I had ever seen myself look. Even a month ago, I probably thought the same thing and wished I could go back to that time when I felt so complete and so happy.
Tonight, I looked at it and I saw something different. I looked for that same happiness in my face that I have always seen in the picture, but I didn't see it there tonight. Tonight, I only saw how much the girl I am today has grown from the girl I was in the picture. It's not that I don't still want the happiness I had then to come back, but that girl in a way, was empty. She thought she had everything she'd ever wanted...and in a way, she did. But she didn't know that by losing that part of her life, she could grow even more, she could experience an even deeper kind of spirituality and love and beauty and growth and joy and faith. That joy and love hasn't come from a replacement of the cute man in the picture, but from a loving Heavenly Father. His kindness and friendship and confidence and Fatherhood have filled me up. He has been my Teacher and my Comforter and He has been oh so near to me. I would be lying to say that there have not been tears shed, and deeply sad moments, even some moments of darkness, but oh the light He has shown to me! He has taught me so much about myself. He has taught me so much about life. I have learned about the deep need to always and forever be anchored in Christ. Though I do not feel totally secure in everything where I'm at right now, I know that I have grown from the girl I saw tonight in that picture. It used to be my favorite. I don't think it is anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still love what it represents and love more who it represents, but the me in it is not where I wanted to stay. For some reason I had to be separated from the goodness that picture represents so that I could receive even more in my life, but I am grateful for it. I am grateful for loss which allows for growth. I am grateful for the cavity it creates inside of us that lets us feel God more abundantly.
Over and over again, the words of and LDS hymn play in my mind. Whenever I feel tempted to turn to any source other than Christ, for anything, I think of these words:
"Be fixed in your purpose for Satan will try you, the weight of your calling he perfectly knows. The path may be thorny but Jesus is nigh you, His arm is sufficient tho demons oppose."
Press on.
Tonight, I looked at it and I saw something different. I looked for that same happiness in my face that I have always seen in the picture, but I didn't see it there tonight. Tonight, I only saw how much the girl I am today has grown from the girl I was in the picture. It's not that I don't still want the happiness I had then to come back, but that girl in a way, was empty. She thought she had everything she'd ever wanted...and in a way, she did. But she didn't know that by losing that part of her life, she could grow even more, she could experience an even deeper kind of spirituality and love and beauty and growth and joy and faith. That joy and love hasn't come from a replacement of the cute man in the picture, but from a loving Heavenly Father. His kindness and friendship and confidence and Fatherhood have filled me up. He has been my Teacher and my Comforter and He has been oh so near to me. I would be lying to say that there have not been tears shed, and deeply sad moments, even some moments of darkness, but oh the light He has shown to me! He has taught me so much about myself. He has taught me so much about life. I have learned about the deep need to always and forever be anchored in Christ. Though I do not feel totally secure in everything where I'm at right now, I know that I have grown from the girl I saw tonight in that picture. It used to be my favorite. I don't think it is anymore. Don't get me wrong, I still love what it represents and love more who it represents, but the me in it is not where I wanted to stay. For some reason I had to be separated from the goodness that picture represents so that I could receive even more in my life, but I am grateful for it. I am grateful for loss which allows for growth. I am grateful for the cavity it creates inside of us that lets us feel God more abundantly.
Over and over again, the words of and LDS hymn play in my mind. Whenever I feel tempted to turn to any source other than Christ, for anything, I think of these words:
"Be fixed in your purpose for Satan will try you, the weight of your calling he perfectly knows. The path may be thorny but Jesus is nigh you, His arm is sufficient tho demons oppose."
Press on.
Friday, November 1, 2013
From the Mouths of Babes
Today two of my nieces were at my mom's house playing and I overheard my 6 year old niece tell my mom:
"I wish (insert most recent boyfriend's name) was still in love with Megan..."
I started to laugh and came downstairs to find out what had inspired that comment. Her response was "I just want a new uncle so bad! I wish you were married already!! My mom got married when she was 20."
Hahaha. ....I love how encouraging my nieces and nephews are when it comes to me getting married. :)
"I wish (insert most recent boyfriend's name) was still in love with Megan..."
I started to laugh and came downstairs to find out what had inspired that comment. Her response was "I just want a new uncle so bad! I wish you were married already!! My mom got married when she was 20."
Hahaha. ....I love how encouraging my nieces and nephews are when it comes to me getting married. :)
Monday, October 28, 2013
YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL!
Some time ago, maybe a couple of months, I knelt down to pray one afternoon with some worries on my mind. I don't remember what those worries were now but I know that they felt heavy on that day (haha, great lesson to be learned in that alone). As I knelt down to pray, I felt a divine reminder about who I was talking with. I was reminded that my relationship with Him is seasoned, long and well-established and that it is a two-sided relationship. I was also reminded of the familial nature of that relationship...He is my FATHER. I don't always pray to Him like He is my Father but I have been working on that. That day I felt it so clearly, I understood it so well and I felt the openness of the relationship. To imagine the way He feels about us as our Father ought to change the way we view life. When I let myself feel His deep love, I feel differently about myself and about others and about life in general.
I have loved this little song over the past couple years. My favorite line: "You should have seen me smile the day that I made you." We are literally the offspring of God and He cares for us with all the feelings of a perfect parent. I love Him and hope that you can feel His love for you in your life and know that you truly are His child and as such He wants to give you the very best things in your life!
Friday, October 25, 2013
Friday, October 18, 2013
Random and 22
Random ramblings of my life lately....
1. 22!!!!! I am now 22. 22! 22! 22! I don't why but there is something that sounds really good about that age. It just rolls off the tongue. Haha. Really though, I had such a great birthday celebration with the people who are very closest and most important to me. It wasn't a super social time for me like it often is...I spent individual time with a lot of people in my family over the weekend and spent my birthday with family and just a couple of close friends. I am grateful for birthdays because I always pay a little more attention to loving myself and to loving others and to being grateful just to be alive, no matter the challenges I may be facing. I love the season my birthday is in because I always receive extra gratitude for nature because of how beautiful the mountains and leaves and trees are on my birthday.
2. Those girls who spent my birthday celebration with me and my family have been rocks for me throughout the past 10-15 years. I am so lucky to have such an amazing support system all around me. I have felt the strength of all those people who love and support me so much lately. Sometimes you don't really realize how many people there are around you who love you until you have a time that you literally need the strength that every person in your life gives you. Every person matters so much. Every person has so much to give. Every person has something that is invaluable to someone else. I hope you all know how amazing and special and valued you are by so many people.
Just to show you how adorable my friends are, my friend and I went to lunch today and she called me as I was driving home because "22" was playing on the radio. This is so awesome because we have been trying to find a moment sing along with "22" at the top of our lungs all week to celebrate my birthday. We've never been able to find it on the radio when we were together. We were in separate cars when it came on so she called me and we sang to it together on the phone in our separate cars. The timing on my radio was ahead of hers so we were just singing and laughing. It made my day that I have such a sweet friend. She is the friend who can I can always count on to make me laugh and help cheer me up. She is one of the only friends who I can get together with when we are both in super bad moods, be it from hormones, boys, frustrations of living at home, or whatever else and we can just laugh it all out. We laugh at each other's stresses and are pretty soon laughing at our own and then just laughing at how dramatic we can be. It's the best. I might add though that we are super bad influences on each other when it comes to having self-control over buying delicious food. Those get-togethers to laugh at our problems usually involve ice cream or some other food. Oh well...
3. I love this song. Slowly, I am trying to learn to live like this. Loving people is so so good. It hurts sometimes, but is soooo good. I have been thinking a lot about confidence lately and about how we can have full confidence in our lives in the many different aspects we may have need of confidence. Something in my life recently turned out really differently than I thought it would. I have struggled since to know how I could feel so confident that it was going to be a certain way when that wasn't the intended outcome. It hurt me and confused me and I had to search a lot to know if I had been wrong or deceived in what I had felt was right. I felt confident that I knew the Source of those feelings, but perhaps I had misunderstood. As I pondered and talked with my Father in Heaven about it, I felt the reassurance from Him that I had done my part and that I had not been wrong or deceived. I had given my full faith to the matter, my full heart, my full hope, my full trust, and my full belief in its goodness. I had run my part of that race with sufficient faith and effort and Heavenly Father helped me know that I could be confident with that. Along the lines of self-confidence, when we are living the Commandments of God, and doing what we need to in our personal lives to be clean before Him, we can always have confidence in ourselves. Confidence comes from how we live before God, not from anything that man gives to us or acknowledges us for. I also learned recently (long time coming haha) that I don't need to worry about being pretty enough or skinny enough or whatever enough for boys. Haha. All I need is to live worthily so that I can always have confidence in the presence of God and then I can always have confidence in the presence of anyone else. Yay!! God is so good.
4. I believe in miracles!! I know God can give us help beyond our imagining in our lives. My mom once told me "You have to need a miracle for God to do a miracle in your life." Sometimes we want the miracle without having to have the circumstance that provides the need for the miracle. I feel this way a lot. However, over the past few years, I have learned that Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's words, "Man's extremity is God's opportunity" are true and I am grateful for the small moments of extremity I have experienced. A month and half ago or so, I offered a prayer in which I somewhat unknowingly asked for an experience to help me along in my path of discipleship. I had been recalling a time of extremity I had about 4 years ago which involved intense illness. I felt I had forgotten some of the important things I'd felt in that time and I wanted to be reminded of those things and learn new things. I prayed humbly for whatever experience it would take for me to find those things again in a way that I would be able to learn them permanently. I had nooooooooo idea what the Lord was going to give me. It was far different and far beyond what I thought might be necessary. Haha. I have learned once again how holy our times of extremity can be. Though they may be challenging and stretching, if we can look beyond complaining about them, we can find so many blessings and so much growth (I am not good at not complaining, but I'm working on it). I am grateful that I have a Father who gives me what I need over what I want and I am trying to repent of the times when I insist upon what I want rather than what I need. This song is one of my faves. I know that God will and does and can work miracles in our lives. So often the miracle is just how He changes us through our experiences. I love Him so much!
I know God loves you and wants to reach out to you and help you in whatever you are struggling with He loves you so so so so much!! He wants to give you so so much! He wants to forgive you and to heal you and to help you be happier by helping you be cleaner. Pray to Him. He wants to talk with you. He is your Father.
Stay tuned for my next post. It's been formulating in my mind for a good week or more now. I don't know how to do it justice but I am going to try.
1. 22!!!!! I am now 22. 22! 22! 22! I don't why but there is something that sounds really good about that age. It just rolls off the tongue. Haha. Really though, I had such a great birthday celebration with the people who are very closest and most important to me. It wasn't a super social time for me like it often is...I spent individual time with a lot of people in my family over the weekend and spent my birthday with family and just a couple of close friends. I am grateful for birthdays because I always pay a little more attention to loving myself and to loving others and to being grateful just to be alive, no matter the challenges I may be facing. I love the season my birthday is in because I always receive extra gratitude for nature because of how beautiful the mountains and leaves and trees are on my birthday.
2. Those girls who spent my birthday celebration with me and my family have been rocks for me throughout the past 10-15 years. I am so lucky to have such an amazing support system all around me. I have felt the strength of all those people who love and support me so much lately. Sometimes you don't really realize how many people there are around you who love you until you have a time that you literally need the strength that every person in your life gives you. Every person matters so much. Every person has so much to give. Every person has something that is invaluable to someone else. I hope you all know how amazing and special and valued you are by so many people.
Just to show you how adorable my friends are, my friend and I went to lunch today and she called me as I was driving home because "22" was playing on the radio. This is so awesome because we have been trying to find a moment sing along with "22" at the top of our lungs all week to celebrate my birthday. We've never been able to find it on the radio when we were together. We were in separate cars when it came on so she called me and we sang to it together on the phone in our separate cars. The timing on my radio was ahead of hers so we were just singing and laughing. It made my day that I have such a sweet friend. She is the friend who can I can always count on to make me laugh and help cheer me up. She is one of the only friends who I can get together with when we are both in super bad moods, be it from hormones, boys, frustrations of living at home, or whatever else and we can just laugh it all out. We laugh at each other's stresses and are pretty soon laughing at our own and then just laughing at how dramatic we can be. It's the best. I might add though that we are super bad influences on each other when it comes to having self-control over buying delicious food. Those get-togethers to laugh at our problems usually involve ice cream or some other food. Oh well...
3. I love this song. Slowly, I am trying to learn to live like this. Loving people is so so good. It hurts sometimes, but is soooo good. I have been thinking a lot about confidence lately and about how we can have full confidence in our lives in the many different aspects we may have need of confidence. Something in my life recently turned out really differently than I thought it would. I have struggled since to know how I could feel so confident that it was going to be a certain way when that wasn't the intended outcome. It hurt me and confused me and I had to search a lot to know if I had been wrong or deceived in what I had felt was right. I felt confident that I knew the Source of those feelings, but perhaps I had misunderstood. As I pondered and talked with my Father in Heaven about it, I felt the reassurance from Him that I had done my part and that I had not been wrong or deceived. I had given my full faith to the matter, my full heart, my full hope, my full trust, and my full belief in its goodness. I had run my part of that race with sufficient faith and effort and Heavenly Father helped me know that I could be confident with that. Along the lines of self-confidence, when we are living the Commandments of God, and doing what we need to in our personal lives to be clean before Him, we can always have confidence in ourselves. Confidence comes from how we live before God, not from anything that man gives to us or acknowledges us for. I also learned recently (long time coming haha) that I don't need to worry about being pretty enough or skinny enough or whatever enough for boys. Haha. All I need is to live worthily so that I can always have confidence in the presence of God and then I can always have confidence in the presence of anyone else. Yay!! God is so good.
4. I believe in miracles!! I know God can give us help beyond our imagining in our lives. My mom once told me "You have to need a miracle for God to do a miracle in your life." Sometimes we want the miracle without having to have the circumstance that provides the need for the miracle. I feel this way a lot. However, over the past few years, I have learned that Elder Jeffrey R. Holland's words, "Man's extremity is God's opportunity" are true and I am grateful for the small moments of extremity I have experienced. A month and half ago or so, I offered a prayer in which I somewhat unknowingly asked for an experience to help me along in my path of discipleship. I had been recalling a time of extremity I had about 4 years ago which involved intense illness. I felt I had forgotten some of the important things I'd felt in that time and I wanted to be reminded of those things and learn new things. I prayed humbly for whatever experience it would take for me to find those things again in a way that I would be able to learn them permanently. I had nooooooooo idea what the Lord was going to give me. It was far different and far beyond what I thought might be necessary. Haha. I have learned once again how holy our times of extremity can be. Though they may be challenging and stretching, if we can look beyond complaining about them, we can find so many blessings and so much growth (I am not good at not complaining, but I'm working on it). I am grateful that I have a Father who gives me what I need over what I want and I am trying to repent of the times when I insist upon what I want rather than what I need. This song is one of my faves. I know that God will and does and can work miracles in our lives. So often the miracle is just how He changes us through our experiences. I love Him so much!
I know God loves you and wants to reach out to you and help you in whatever you are struggling with He loves you so so so so much!! He wants to give you so so much! He wants to forgive you and to heal you and to help you be happier by helping you be cleaner. Pray to Him. He wants to talk with you. He is your Father.
Stay tuned for my next post. It's been formulating in my mind for a good week or more now. I don't know how to do it justice but I am going to try.
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