Tender Mercies

Maybe I'm the only one who's had a crazy semester and an even crazier past month...but I doubt it. :)

For the past 5 weeks, I've had bronchitis and asthma: two things I've never dealt with before in my life. I've honestly never had a severe respiratory illness other than when I had RSV as a baby. This has been super scary and super painful! This semester had already been full of lots of annoying, inconvenient, and hard things. School-wise it's probably been my most wearing semester. I have always excelled in school. My lowest grade ever in my college career to date is a B+, earned in calculus last semester. I worked my tail off in that class and came out with only a B+. New feeling for me... I can usually get A's by doing the bare minimum. This semester,  I feel like B's will be gifts in the majority of my classes. Haha. In short, I have always felt Heavenly Father's hand over my schoolwork. He has helped me pull through and do well even in the face of big challenges. This semester, there were so many little things that have just gone "wrong" where school is concerned. Then I got sick with this beast of a respiratory bug. I missed a week of school. (Please don't think I'm trying to complain. I didn't go to school for my whole senior year of high school because of health problems so I know a week isn't a big deal. I am just setting up the background for why this post is important.) More or less, for the past little while, I have felt a little like everything was falling apart. The breaks that usually seemed to come to help me with school, or health or other trials hadn't been around in quite some time. Peace hadn't been very abundant in my life. But.... sometimes it takes somewhat of a dark backdrop in our lives to be able to more clearly see the Lord's tender mercies to us.

• I have been so caught up in my life and have not given nearly enough to those around me lately. I apologize to those of you who deserve so much more from me. But here are some acts of kindness and tender mercies that have made the past couple of months more bearable for me. Thank you all for who you are in my life. I couldn't make it through without Christ-like friends. 

• The first week I was sick, my home teachers (who had just barely been assigned to be my home teachers) brought me orange juice one night. It cheered my day. 

• One day as I was looking for a parking spot at school, there was a car pulling out who I hadn't noticed, and there was another girl who had seen and I could tell was going to take the spot. I was just about to pull by when the girl gestured for me to take the spot and drove on. I recognized the girl as she drove by. She was in my class that was probably beginning in about 5 minutes...She needed the spot as much as I did, but she let me take it. It meant something to me that day. 

• Somehow I was able to work out days to make presentations and take tests that I missed while I was sick. It seemed impossible and I still don't have all the work done, but my professors were able to make accommodations and I should be able to make up everything I need to.  A topic for a presentation I needed to make came together quite quickly and in a way that was perfect for what is required in the presentation. It was one of the little things that "worked out" when everything else seemed like it wasn't.

• I went to the temple this week for the first time in a several weeks because of this illness. I saw a person in the temple who some time ago made some actions that disappointed me (and maybe hurt my tender spirit a little bit). The Spirit had given me a feeling a couple months ago that the Lord would show me some of this person's good works rather than letting me dwell on negatives. The Lord already had shown me some of the good works of this person and had allowed me to move forward from our interactions. However, when I walked into the temple and saw that person, I knew the Lord was still fulfilling that promise to me of bringing to light this person's goodness. I was overwhelmed with gratitude. My gratitude wasn't anything to do with the person though....It was all over the fact that Heavenly Father cared about me enough to carry out His promise, even when I didn't feel I needed it anymore. I had to be there at the exact time to see that person and I knew Heavenly Father had guided my day so that would happen. It reminded me that Heavenly Father cares about the small things in our lives...the small things that matter to us. He cares enough to minister to us in our biggest and our smallest of trials. Also while in the temple, the baptistry was very crowded and was standing room only at times. I was super tired from not getting much sleep the night before and after I had been standing for a several minutes, my lungs and legs were screaming to be able to sit down and rest. A lady and her daughter were in front of me. There was one spot left on the bench and they let me sit down rather than one of them taking it. It was so small, but exactly what I needed at that moment and I considered it a tender mercy. 

• Sister Dalton's and Brother Stanley Ellis's talks in General Conference today. 

• Last, because this is getting long, but certainly not because this is a comprehensive list of my blessings, Heavenly Father has brought people into my life over the course of the past many months who have blessed, strengthened, reminded, and guided me. Some have even had the amazing effect of bringing healing into my life, and of giving me confidence in my dreams which I had previously lost. I am so grateful for the amazing people Heavenly Father has blessed me with. 

I want to close by saying that I know that life is not easy for anyone. It has certainly not been easy in any way for me, but I also know that my life is not as hard as many others. Life is designed so personally for each of us - To test us and build us in the very specific ways we most need so that we can reach exaltation. I know that no matter what happens in our lives, the answer for us is Jesus Christ. He will succor us, He will direct us, He will help and heal us. I know that He does not always run right to our rescue, because if He did, we would not be able to grow as much as we need to, however I do know that He is always there and that He always listens when we pray. We can feel Him close, no matter what we are going through if we will but pray and listen and obey His commandments. May He bless you in whatever struggles you are facing. 

Kindness and prayer make my world turn round.

Happy Conference everyone!