When Things "Don't Work Out"

Lots of thoughts today. Some are random, some less random.

Today, I felt like nothing was "working out." Like my endeavors in things I've really wanted to do, wanted to do well in, or just plain wanted were all falling to pieces. Kind of a continuation of how I'd been feeling in my last post, but even more-so. I sat in a chair in the institute building at UVU today, mulling these things over in my mind, and feeling a little bit teary-eyed as I texted my mom to tell her about how I was feeling. I told her "I feel like the things I want to do and the things I want to work out haven't been for about the last 4 months.....or maybe the last 7 years." Then, as I thought about this feeling about how nothing was working out, I felt a gentle spiritual nudge from my Heavenly Father saying "What if, in fact, everything IS working out?" And right then, I knew that was the truth. Everything is working out, because it's going the Lord's way. He is guiding it all, so it is working out, even though the things that I base "working out" on aren't the same as what He bases it on. I have the utmost comfort at this, and the utmost reassurance about the course of my life. I am so grateful for that answer.

Shortly after that little pity party and special experience, I felt prompted to go see if a professor was in his office whose class I am still way behind in. I went and he was there.  The main thing I have to make up is a test. We talked about my options for a few minutes and determined that I would just take the test next week, whenever I am ready (He is super nice). Then, he got up from his desk and walked across his office to a stack of tests and said "You know what, I'm just going to give you the test and you can work on it as you can. You can use the book and just do it as you have time." I almost cried. This is the toughest subject for me this semester and I have really struggled with the material. His kindness and letting me use the book will probably change the outcome of my grade in the class, not to mention I will actually be able to do it little pieces at a time, as I am ready. I felt so grateful, and felt so grateful to my Heavenly Father for showing me that things really are "working out." What a nice little man that professor is!

It has been raining for days! I kind of love it but not really. Yesterday I was thinking about THIS song and this movie scene all day long and wanted to re-enact if every time I was outside. Today on my drive home I was thinking about the phrase "Singing in the rain." I made a goal to sing in the rain more.  It seemed applicable for my life lately. Even though it's been raining, I can still sing. And I can sing IN the rain. Ha, take that, rain! I can sing all I want, no matter what you do. Then, I thought of this song, and then the fact that I was thinking about all these songs about rain, made me think about this song, "Songs About Rain." I know...weird. What can I say, my brain connects everything.

I am at a restless point in my life. I need a change, an adventure, something. I just can't quite put my finger on what that might be. Maybe summer will help. My body sure wants summer.

If you don't know this about me, I love classical music, and all sorts of instrumental music. I've played the cello and the piano for years and I have fallen in love with so many pieces that I've been blessed to learn of over the years. Here are a few that I've been thinking about today/recently. If you're not a classical music buff, look these up! You just might like some of them. I LOVE music!!
-Peer Gynt Suite by Grieg
- Firebird Suite Finale by Stravinsky
-Unaccompanied Cello Suite by Bach
-The main theme of the movie "The Patriot" by John Williams
-The Trout Quintet by Schubert
-Intermezzo from Cavalleria Rusticana by Mascagni
- Beethoven's Symphony no. 5
-Rhapsody in Blue by George Gershwin

...And if you want some music for fun, check out these guys. :)